On Growth Spurts

Dear One,


     Ah, my littlest boy, you should know that it is not (only) the peace and quiet of naptime that makes me look so forward to that after-lunch part of each day. It is also the very act of tucking you in and how tickled I am with our daily going-to-bed conversation. Adamantly insisting on sleeping in only your Superhero underpants, you always proceed to stop where you are in the room and specifically point to each limb on your body individually saying, "Mom, I don't want my socks - my socks, my pants- my pants, my shirt-my shirt, I just want my undies."  I smile and do your bidding (not that you expect any less of me) and delight in your youngness. You seem to really believe that if you don't point it out, I will leave you with one pant leg off and the other still on. 
     Today though, as I turned back your covers you looked up and said, "Mom, I don't want my socks, my pants, or my shirt. Can you please help me take them off?" I smiled and did your bidding again (habit at this point), but with a slightly sunken heart. I know that these little milestones of personal awareness and growth spurts of understanding are vital to your health and vitality and development. They all add up over time and will make you into a grown man someday ....wow, thinking that, it's...anyway...  the passing of each youthful perspective though is hard on your mother sometimes. I cherish each step you and your brother take more than you can yet know.
     So, when you are that grown boy, a LONG time from now, and are sitting in your own living room reading through these letters, I trust you will remember that I love
 your toes- your toes, 
your leg -your leg, 
your arm-your arm, 
your hand- your hand
your chest
your neck,
your head,
your smile, your smile, your smile, your smile, your smile, your smile,
your
you.


All along the way,
me

On A Girl's Weekend

Welcome Home Sweetheart!! Can’t wait to see you on  Sunday!!

Here are a few things to help with your boys weekend (hoping this is helpful and not bossy!) :

1)  All their cruisers clothes are folded and ready to go on the bench by the garage door. Their mittens are in the lockers at the Club, but everything else is here.

2)  You’ll need to pack both boys a lunch, thier lunch boxes are laid out on the kitchen counter.

3)  Luke’s babysitter  will meet you guys at the Trailhead at 12:30 and stay there with Luke until 3:30 so that you’ll have time to go and get Vaughn without bringing Luke with you. You’ll need to pick Luke up from mini-cruisers, give him his lunch box and take him to the Trailhead to meet her.

4)  I have frozen pizzas and some P.F. Chang’s stir-frys in the freezer for some toss-in-the-oven type easy dinners.

5)  Naps have been very hit or miss. If they don’t take one,  then it’s all I can do to keep Luke up until 8, but try otherwise he's up and at'em by 5am .

6)   They really enjoy their outside time, usually from 3 to 4 or 5 – but you have to make Luke do it. Once he’s out, he’s great, but he’ll tell (scream) you he doesn’t want to go at first. Ignore him.

7)  If the weather’s really bad and you can’t get outside, I just restocked our arts and crafts supplies for you to bring out. They are in the drawer of the dresser that’s in the toy room. Don’t let the boys see you get them out though, they don’t know that’s were I keep that stuff and I don’t want them breaking into it when I’m not watching.

8)  It’s a weekend so feel free to use as many shows as needed. ;)

9)   Hopefully this helps get you through until  I get home   on Sunday!

Love!

the potentially over-prepared and hyper-controlling one

;) 

On Marriage

 Dear One,
   I'm writing to you today because I've been watching some of the people we know dissolve their marriage, and the chaos of hurts and pains and accusations that are surrounding that whole situation has brought the concept of Marriage to the forefront of my mind lately. And when I think about marriage, it's obviously all about you. 
   We don't have the perfect marriage, got off to a rocky start and truly never had that fairy tale story I'd imagined as a young girl. I confess I've spent too much of our last 10 years thinking on what we don't, or haven't, had. What a waste that has been! What a disaster of focus! 


I've come across a few quotes lately that helped in aligning my mind onto the track of truth, one of my favorites is this: 
     "Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to."
                                        --J. R. R. Tolkien


True, yes? There is a lot of True Love in a marriage, and one of the secrets is that there are many moments throughout the course of one where True Love is demonstrated by staying not because you feel it, but because you said you would.  It proves your word's worth, to see a vow through makes you trustworthy, which is vital because one of the things I can now say I know about marriage- it is the most naked, vulnerable, and exposed spot in the world to be. To be utterly bare before someone, and know they are trustworthy with your "you-ness", is everything. 
      Something else I've learned: 


"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."  ~Barnett R. Brickner


     Which goes hand in hand with this:


 "To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness."  -- Robert Brault




So, there you have one of my biggest lessons and it's so old and so overdone there must be hundreds of tales and thousands of songs proclaiming it... you see, "it takes two".  We all desire to be loved, no- to be HUGELY loved, but we also need to hold the responsibility of being someone lovable. 


    You've been gone all week, soaring heights and skiing steeps I'm not sure I'll ever have the stomach to take on myself. But I can hear the smile in your voice when you're done and I never want to hang up and lose the sound of your voice or the joy you're clearly feeling --  and that's really saying something, since you know my phone conversation skills aren't among my best qualities. 
    When you're not here, I sleep on your side of the bed, and in your shirts, anything to feel you close. I miss you. I start listening for the door to open at the end of the day in the hope you might be back sooner than you said, I think of you thousands of times a day and smile when your face crosses my mind. 


    We don't have the perfect marriage. We have something so much better, we have a 
Real One. 


      We have a funny, messy, complicated, solid, hopeful, hard-working, passionate, trying, courageous, brilliant, priceless, always-figuring-it-out-as-we-go-and-keep-getting-up-no-matter-what marriage. I know I've been showered for more than a decade now with reasons to love you... 


...may you become equally drenched  my Dear One, 


me