On Motherhood

Dear One,

It's wonderful to hear from you and I can so totally totally totally understand the rollercoaster you are on right now. I wish I was there and could just hold you for a moment. Please imagine the biggest hug you've ever had and accept that from me today. :)  
I BALLED MY EYES OUT HYSTERICALLY WEEPING when 1) we drove away from the hospital and all of the people who were checking on my baby every couple of hours and telling me he was okay, and 2) when my mom left and I stood in that quiet apartment with a painful abdomen and an unbelievably needy infant. I understand completely and am going to tell you what I wish I'd know then. IT REALLY IS GOING TO BE OKAY. :) It's even going to be fun, magical, and brilliant beyond imagining. You are stronger than you know, but better than that- so is he! :) Nothing falls apart when he cries and you can take him anywhere you want to go. He'll adjust swimmingly and you'll get more and more comfortable with the load the more you incorporate living your life into caring for your baby.  
And that's the other thing, it IS a LOAD to be a Mother. It is exhausting, frustrating, frightening, overwhelming and some days you'll even have thoughts that maybe you're not cut out for this and made a huge huge mistake. THAT IS REALLY OKAY TOO. :) It does not mean you are a bad mother, it does not mean you can't do this, it does not mean any mistake was made. It just means that this is an all-consuming job, a vitally important job, and that you really truly get that. If you weren't stressed out every now and then (or every few minutes...) then I'd be worried. ;)  
Another thought to tuck away right now is that this season is just that, a season of time. There are incredibly precious moments in these first few months and years that you will look back on and know were some of the most valuable pieces of your life. Priceless, special and miraculous moments. There is also a lot of stress and endless servant tasks! Those parts pass though-babies grow to kids and eventually people who do, in fact, care for themselves, I promise. :) So enjoy carrying, and caring, and kissing, and breathing in that priceless newborn smell that is unique to your little man. Relax. Cut yourself LOTS of slack. Laugh at yourself and breathe. Of all the mommy's in the world he picked you out in particular - which tells me right away that your son has exceptional taste and you're in good hands. :)  


Happy Early Mother's Day! You are going to be brilliant at this!  


Most days. ;)  


Love you,
Me