Your website says you can transform any woman's body- regardless of age, genetics, and/or specific problem spots. If that is true, then the salutation of "Dear One" won't even begin to cover my affection for you.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to become my steadfast partner in: Operation Feel Good in a Swimsuit Before I Turn 34.
It is a large scale attack we have taken on. There is much cellulite to defeat and many 'Lil Debbie Swiss Cakes to say no to. This is not for the weak or the hungry- although your workouts so far have made me feel both. There are obstacles to overcome: potty-training, meal preparation for non-dieters, foot deep slush covering all usable ground outside, and the fact that my two favorite foods are butter and chocolate, with salt.
Please keep that last bit between us.
This note will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
See you in the morning,
me
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